Thai Bride

Norman Asked:  "Since acquiring a Thai Bride I'm learning so much about the Asian culture. Did you know that it is customary for the man to cook, clean and sleep on the living room couch in Thai culture?"

When my good lady Edna eventually clocked off and went to the eternal laundry in the sky. I didn't know whether to have a Chinese or Thai. Deciding on a mail-order bride is really difficult. The free prawn crackers helped to clinch the deal.

I gave serious consideration before filling in the form and sending off for a Thai Bride. When the catalogue arrived, I was not entirely happy with the various models on offer. I thought they were all a bit lightweight for turning a heavy mangle. 

Despite the description of the brides in the catalogue being universally  "I am a sweet and lovely lotus blossom. Why, just look at me. Aren't I the most delicate thing you have ever seen?" None of the Thai brides on offer looked capable of being able to handle a heavy smoothing iron. Most were certainly not tall enough to do a reasonable job with a rubbing board and a peggy tub. 

I was also learning from others sources that Thai brides do not appreciate living and working in silence. I think it was all decided for me when she indicated that she wanted me to participate in the traditional Thai toilet cleaning ritual. It was like a scene out of Crocodile Dundee on my wedding night. "Call that a penis?" said my Thai bride. 

I'll tell you what I really hate about my new Thai bride. She keeps leaving the toilet seat up! There are a couple of other things however that I can't quite work it out. First my new bride is fully conversant with the offside rule and the sudden realisation that I need to get a new dog when she tells you, dinner's in the oven. This has been a great lesson in multi-cultural understanding.

Regards.

Uncle Mort.