A Life of Stress

Dennis MacShyster MP asked "I am feeling stressed out after recently losing my job. Can you offer any advice. I'm also under investigation by the police for some tiny errors in accounting. Which I think were all caused by the level of stress."

Stress, is an up-dated version of what we called in my day, work dodging or malingering. Complaints about work related stress only come around when a one ulcer person tries to hold down a three ulcer job. In reality the work of a politician is very very easy.

Lets look at the working year of a politician. 

There are in theory 365 days in the year available for you to work on our behalf. However, as there are 52 weeks in the year, in which you already have a statutory minimum of two days off per week. Therefore leaving only 261 days available in the year for any possible work.

For the new year, in January you have 4 days holiday. Leaving only 257 days. In February you have a further 7 working days holiday. Therefore leaving only 250 days available in the year for any possible work. At Easter (March-April)  you have a further 11 working days holiday. leaving only 239 possible working days. At Whitsun (May-June) you have a further 9 days holiday. Therefore leaving only 230 possible working days. 

The parliamentary summer recess (July-August) is 32 working days. Leaving only 198 possible working days. Conference period (September-October) is 16 working days. Leaving only 182 possible working days. The November recess is 4 working days. Leaving only 178 possible working days. In December you get the Christmas recess which is 9 working days. Leaving only 169 possible working days for the whole year. Also 7th May (Early May bank holiday) and 27th of May (Spring bank holiday) which is 2 working days. Leaving only 167 possible working days.

Lets look at your typical working day. 

There are 24 hours in each day. If you normally work for 8 hours a day. Therefore you must spend a minimum of 16 hours each day away from work. In your working day you spend 20 minutes, twice each day taking a tea or coffee break. Add to this a minimum of 1 hour for lunch. This leaves only six hours and twenty minutes available each day. With all the eating and drinking you spend a further 20 minutes at the toilet. Leaving only 6 working hours in your day.

David Michael Bowers

The current annual salary for an MP is £65,738. This works out at £393.64 per working day. Or £65.60 an hour. It compares nicely with the minimum wage of £6.19 an hour. However, in addition, MPs receive expenses to cover the costs of running an office, employing staff, having somewhere to live in London and somewhere to live in their constituency. Plus all travelling expenses between Parliament and their constituency. Plus typical expenses like mortgage interest, heating and telephone. Plus access to a pension provision to die for.

Dear doctor Dennis, I feel very sorry about the stressful life you led as a Member of Parliament. But then I am sure that you realise that in due course. Her majesty will be arranging for a long period of rest and recuperation in one of her establishments.  My only advice is to relax and enjoy the ride as the friends of genial Harry Grout will help you in the end, to take it like a man. 

Enjoy the Porridge.

Uncle Mort.