Holiday Reading

John asked: "What kind of books would you as a Yorkshire man suggest I take with me on my two week holiday in sunny Spain."

Why would you want to go on holiday to Spain, don't you know its full of swarthy sweaty Spaniards. With effeminate names like Pedro and Fernando. Now for me - you can't beat a good fortnight in Halifax or even a two centre package that includes Heckmondwike. At the right time of year the smoke blackened buildings are stunning. With unobstructed vistas right up onto the moor tops. Watching the halal sheep rustlers organising the main course for the next Bradford curry night.

There is something very special about walking the brooding moors, with scudding clouds. With the pathways made from newly excavated four track bridle ways. Walking in the ancient footsteps of a countless number of Shepard's as we try to avoid the sheep shit. Enjoying the tinkle of a myriad streams of crystal clear water, cascading down the valley to the dyeworks. The memorable noise of the wind that caries the feint sound of the local youths scrambling on a recently stolen motorbike. 

Halifax is a town, built upon the history of the legendary cheerful banter of the mill owners cajoling the workers to greater endeavours with a stick. Celebrated by the hordes of Japanese tourist on an away-day from Stratford upon Avon, the home of lukewarm beer. Here to soak up some of the rich tapestry of like what that Bronte wench wrote in her book. Holiday in Yorkshire, where even the M1 motorway is cobbled for a stretch. 

Thomas Wilmer Dewing

As for reading matter, you can't beat the good old Yorkshire Post. Acknowledged close and near as the best chip paper ever to pass through the printing press. The Yorkshire Chronicle, with up to the minuet news on clogs and ferrets The world famous Yorkshire Independent the leading broadsheet for making crinkly toilet paper. Last but not least, the Yorkshire Telegraph, first for pigeon and whippet news and lining the budgies cage.

We have some very talented authors in Yorkshire. They are made up of an eclectic mix of writing skills which will appeal to a wide group of book-lovers. Remember, literature and black pudding are a massive part of Yorkshire’s cultural heritage and appeal. Heading the list of famous writers is Bert Arkwright Wong, author of "101 ways to wok your dog." Gary Leon Hill author of "People Who Don't Know They're Dead" and Dillip Sandeep, author of "A History of 17th Century Yorkshire Curry Houses."  Children's author Jethro Knuckle and his memorable book "Painting with Pooh." Not forgetting, Rebecca Slurry, the transvestite sailor who contributed a whimsical collection of tall stories. Which adds even more speculation to the question on everyone’s lips, why? 

Regards.

Uncle Mort.