eBay

Rosie Asked: "Dear Mortimer. I have been buying a few items on eBay, so far without any problems. As an eBay virgin, do you have any advice about what I need to careful about when trading on eBay?"

Dear Rosie, you don't need to be quite so formal. I'm quite happy to be referred to as Mort or even Uncle Mort. But I digress, so back to your question. When money gets tighter, some people are stretching their budget by purchasing second hand items for Christmas from eBay. So my little 'second-hand-rose' I shall give you the benefit of my experience. 

It pays to read the item description quite carefully. I have seen a four horse chariot that has been attributed to belonging Boadicea. It came complete with a full MOT and a set of nearly new radial tyres. I was not fooled, it was an obvious scam as it only had the old style DVLA logbook.

One of the important elements of eBay is that an item's worth is nearly always decided by the buyer and not the seller. But that doesn't stop some people trying to overcharge for junk, by misleading potential buyers. You could buy your very own ousted Egyptian dictator for the right price. Yes, Hosni Mubarak was up for auction. He reached the value of $4.50 before the add was removed.

You also need to keep an eye on what your children get up to on eBay. One recent auction was for a 100% authentic Grandma. She was born in the early 1900's. She has lived through 2 World wars. She loves cleaning house and picking up after people. Accessories included: 2 pairs of Dentures,1 Quilt, 1 Set of old lady clothes, 1 pair of glasses, 3 bottles of foot ointment and 1 Rocking Chair.

When photographing shiny reflective items to sell on ebay. Much care is needed. First you must ensure that you are fully dressed!

If you know anyone who might be interested I am putting our old television set on eBay It's a 22 inch, double glazed Echo. The picture is not great, but it does retain its heat well.

I recently purchased a new keyboard for my computer on eBay. It was quite cheap and arrived within three days. uıɐƃɐ ʎɐqǝ ɯoɹɟ pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ƃuıʎnq ɹǝʌǝu ɯɐ  aghhhhhh...

Regards.

Uncle Mort.