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Regards.
Uncle Mort.
Dear Uncle Mort.
ReplyDeleteI am afraid of death and politicians. I am not sure if there is a name for my fear. What if anything can I do about it.
Uncle Mort. I own a boat I have been approached to give a charitable donation to the Canal and Rivers Trust. In view of the fact that boat ownership costs me a lot of money in licence fees and moorings fees. I am having second thoughts about giving a charitable donation. I welcome your advice.
ReplyDeleteTony
Dear Pleb.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of taking the plunge and getting myself married. Do you have any advice to give about the qualities to look for in a woman. I'm a bit iffy about asking male members of my family for help.
H
Mort.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling stressed out after recently losing my job. Can you offer any advice. I'm also under investigation by the police for some tiny errors in accounting. Which I think were all caused by the level of stress.
Thanks
Denis.
G'day Mort. I am a little perplexed, I can't make up my mind whether we should regulate the press by act of parliament. Or have a beefed up system of self regulation. Could You Offer some advice then I can tell dave and his toffs what to do.
ReplyDeleteCheers Cobbler
Rupert
Mort, what kind of books would you as a Yorkshire man suggest I take with me on my two week holiday in sunny spain.
ReplyDeleteJohn
Mort, Are we evolving into a country populated by strange weird people. Should we be worried?
ReplyDeleteSwamps
Mort My wife is suffering from bouts of morning sickness, what advice could you offer her.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Bill.
Dear Mort. I would like to ask your advice about a problem we are experiencing that is keeping us awake at night. We are being plagued by young revellers leaving a local night club. Swearing, fighting and lewd behaviour and that is only the "ladies". Since the cutback in the number of police, the problem has become much worse.
ReplyDeleteThanking you in anticipation.
Theresa June
Dear Mortimer. I have been buying a few items on eBay, so far without any problems. As an eBay virgin, do you have any advice about what I need to careful about when trading on eBay?
ReplyDeleteRose.
Mort. I'm at my wits end, my husband is so loving but at the same time so difficult to please. Can you offer any advice from a male perspective.
ReplyDeleteLove
Ann
Mort. I'm a 39 year old, gender changed and incontinent transvestite, with one eye, one arm, one leg and a lisp. I think I may have serious problems with drink. I would welcome your advice. It feels like I have no control and that I'm ruining my life. Also I feel embarrassed for my boyfriend. Please can you help?
ReplyDeleteDaisy.
Mort. Are our generation bringing up our children correctly. I'm worried that my kids are not being nurtured strong enough to deal with the problems they will come up against in everyday life. Even my parents say I'm not doing enough! I welcome your sage advice.
ReplyDeleteTom
Dear Mort. I hope that you will forgive me, because I am going to have a moan and it's about one particular aspect in life. There was a time, even in the face of all kinds of adversity, we would just grit our teeth and carry on. This was never displayed better than in humour. In the old days, there was the theatre. Where acts would make us laugh at ourselves, our neighbour and life in general. Now, I don't recognise the new alternative comedy as being remotely funny. Is it me?
ReplyDeleteBest wishes.
Tilly
Dear Uncle Mort.
ReplyDeleteI am a lady of quite ample proportions. I have been called fat and various other names. Should being called "fat" be considered to be a hate crime?
Lisa.
Mort, Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting old - or a reflection of these austere times, but I'm opting for a night in this New Year’s Eve. How about you?
ReplyDeleteNappi.
Mort, what do you think of this new trend amongst family and friends - Sending a Christmas newsletter each year included along with the more traditional Christmas card.
ReplyDeleteSeasonal greetings.
Gerry.
Uncle Mort.
ReplyDeleteI am a bit unsure about father Christmas. My husband just shouts order order whenever I ask. He claims that there is no such person as Santa. Is he telling the truth?
Sally B.
Mort. What has happened to our newspapers. Once they were full of world news, national news and important local stories. Now they are full of tittle tattle about third rate celebrities.
ReplyDeleteConrad White.
Dear Mort.
ReplyDeleteI want to arrange a dinner party with a north of England theme. Can you suggest some ideas for good food with a northern flavour.
Anthony Wirral Tonka.
Dear Mort. Since acquiring a Thai Bride I'm learning so much about the Asian culture. Did you know that it is customary for the man to cook, clean and sleep on the living room couch in Asian cultures."
ReplyDeleteNorman.
Mort, I have been wondering do you have any friends as you have not written of anyone so far?
ReplyDeletePC Pleb.
Mort, what are your thoughts about global warming. Is global warming a fact or a piece of scare mongering fiction. What do we need to do to reduce the effects of the change in weather and how can we prepare for the future.
ReplyDeleteNoah
Mort.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any thoughts on the new years honours list?
Madge