Morning After

Bill asked "My wife is suffering from bouts of morning sickness, what advice could you offer her."

Hello Bill.

I'm not sure what advice I could offer, mostly because I have limited experience of morning sickness. Well, the type of morning sickness that did not involve drinking to excess the night before. Some of these skinny scrawny weaklings we have for wives these days need to be built up a bit. A good bag of fish and chips with a large pork pie eaten before meals makes a good lining for the stomach. Yorkshire wenches are a different breed. I put it down to the 8 inch high Yorkshire pudding and four link black pudding breakfast which is a good staple part of our balanced diet.

Cox

Now, over the years I have done a regular twice weekly hangover test. I have discovered that there are one or two reliable cures for morning sickness and hangovers. The much quoted strong cup of black coffee is a cure for the namby pamby lightweight. If your hangover is cured by a cup of coffee, then you did not drink enough the night before. My favourite, is "the cure" which is a raw egg beaten up with milk and a large shot of brandy. The true efficacy of medicinal brandy is often overlooked. So when she wakes up and starts feeling sick, make sure she has a large glass of, the cure. 

A word of warning, some women are known to get the odd bout of sickness when they are pregnant. However, they get over it by the time of the third or fourth child. I put this down to a natural resistance which comes from handling green nappy content. Its important to be supportive whenever this kind of sickness happens. The best way to do this is to be prepared to let her delay cooking your breakfast until she is feeling a little better.

You have to take care to make sure that she does not try to get you onto these so called "healthy eating" diets they read about in magazines. Each time, just say in a cheery voice "well, I enjoyed my diet, but what's for my dinner?"

Regards.

Uncle Mort.